I have not, and I will not eat

the last of the ramen

That line break was ridiculous

and meaningless

I hate poetr

y

Save Point

What You do when you die

Doesn't count towards your life

A lot of people aren't aware of this

So they spend their time kneeling and praying

And not enjoying the time they have to punch

God directly in the face for taking so long

To make everything right

You can't do it ever.

Hunter's never stay married for long, they belong to the wilderness.

I'm sorry you're allergic to Octopus,

But damn it, I hunted this one myself.

And if there is one rule I live by,

it is we eat what I hunt!

I Wish We'd Never Met

When I asked to come

up to your apartment

I wasn't sure about it.

Because of the way you look.

I'd sobered up since the bar,

And I was less convinced,

That you were a seven,

You moved down

to a six or even a four.

I know I'm shallow like that.

But now I know,

You're just as ugly

as me,

on the inside.

And that's what really matters.

That Bozo

When I was little my Mom

Told me never to trust clowns

She said they were evil,

lying, cheating, sons of bitches,

and they were awful in bed.

That last part confused

Me as a child.

But as you can imagine

She was disappointed

When I followed

In my father's footsteps

She always hated that Bozo.

The American Family

I don't want to

open this jar of

pickles for you.

So stop asking.

Also I want a divorce.

And Your Mother called,

She's got Lupus,

And she's disappointed

With her life.

Harsh

"I Wish You Didn't Exist

So That Something Useful

Could Exist Instead of You"

I always thought my

Eighth grade math Teacher

Mr. Wong,

was a little harsh,

When he wrote that

on my quizzes.

Sometimes he'd just pass me notes

Saying things like

"You're the Worst mistake

God EVER made,

and I'm counting Hitler"

Now that I'm an adult,

I use a calculator,

and I vote against educational funding,

because it is cruel.